0001 Introduction to Sarah

Those of you closest to me and who I interact with on a regular or semi-regular basis already know that my life and outlook on life has changed a great deal over the past couple of years. While it is true that the only constant in life is change, these changes are substantial. They are changes - or more accurately an accepting of my authentic self - that run nearly counter to the self that I presented and believed I was in my past. 

Truth be told, I have wanted to start a blog for some time now. However, I keep coming back to the fact that I have changed so much in the last year or so that anyone who I have known along the way may be confused or not realize where I’m coming from. Some will be shocked and horrified. Others will be delighted. This knowledge kept me from feeling like I can truly express my thoughts and feelings - something I’ve always prided myself in being able to do - for some time now. I avoided writing about all of this both because I was afraid of rocking the boat or disappointing people in my life AND because I didn’t want to feel like I should have to explain myself. I am finally (currently) at peace with all of that and feel like it’s finally time to just be me and write a blog. 

So, consider this an introduction in a way. I have been slowly introducing myself to...myself...over the past two years or so. I slowly introduced that self to my husband and other close friends. Then, I went beyond to those around me who I felt safe. I am finally starting to feel like I'm ready to introduce that self as my...self. No longer hiding behind the mask of my old self. 

My name is Sarah. I am agnostic. I am bi. Two earth-shattering realizations that came hand-in-hand for me and had me questioning everything I had ever known, been taught, or claimed to believe. 

This blog is my space to explore this new world I find myself in. Not because I feel the need to explain myself to the world, but because I find it cathartic and one of the things that has saved me from my darkest days was the community - both in person and online - that I found. The Exvangelicals: those who are also deconstructing (as the current buzzword goes); MANY of them also finally accepting their queerness. Knowing that I am not alone in the many strange experiences we share has been both encouraging and validating. I am now at the point where I am ready to put myself out there in hopes that I can help others feel like they aren't alone in their questioning. 

I don’t have huge expectations for this blog. It’s almost like a Live Journal thing for me. I will see where it takes me, but at the moment, it will most likely have a mix of everything from musings to book reviews to poetry. Part deep, part light. Exploring this new me I have finally allowed myself to become. 

So, hi!